Cara Mengobati Wasir Secara Alami
9 years ago
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Not so unique after all.
Poor Miri! We thought she had a rare name and wouldn't have to deal with being confused with anyone else. When she was born in 2004 the name "Miriam" was #274 (according to the Social Security administration) so we figured she had about a .3% chance of having another little girl named "Miriam" in her class when she went to school. It looked good for a while, since we never encountered one in Wichita, a city of .5 million people. Then we moved to Hibbing.
In a town of 17,000, we have met 2 other little girls named Miriam. All three are within one year in age and live in the same school area. So the chances are now VERY good that she will have at least one if not two other little girls sharing her name in the same classroom!
OK all you females named "Jennifer," start laughing!
In a town of 17,000, we have met 2 other little girls named Miriam. All three are within one year in age and live in the same school area. So the chances are now VERY good that she will have at least one if not two other little girls sharing her name in the same classroom!
OK all you females named "Jennifer," start laughing!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Again I say, "Screw you greenies!"
What is the use of renewable bio fuels like ethanol, if we can't afford to eat? Thanks to the "green" over-production of corn for fuel, prices of milk and wheat products have skyrocketed in a matter of weeks. Corn growers are selling their products for bio-fuels rather than as feed corn for dairy cows. Former wheat growers are now corn farmers, so wheat production is down and prices are up.
"Gee, honey, I would love to get you some chocolate milk, but the greenies have made it too expensive to buy. But, hey, there's plenty of fuel for the car!"
"Gee, honey, I would love to get you some chocolate milk, but the greenies have made it too expensive to buy. But, hey, there's plenty of fuel for the car!"
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Library Island?
DEMCO is a company that makes supplies for libraries like shelves, booktrucks, etc. This year they are having an online contest for booktruck decorations. Go to their website and vote for one of the top ten.
Of course, I voted for this one. But they didn't make it easy: wait till you see the one that looks like Elvis!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Snow Bunny
Miriam enjoys a new snow here in Hibbing. Of course, the windchill is 20 below, but, hey, she's gotta toughen up, right?
Oh, and Mamma took this video from safely INSIDE the house while I was out shoveling.
Oh, and Mamma took this video from safely INSIDE the house while I was out shoveling.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Posting here
Since I am self-absorbed, I am thrilled whenever anyone wants to comment on my posts. It shows someone is reading. However, if you are going to comment anonymously, I will reject your comment. Part of freedom of speech is the willingness to take responsibility for the things you say. If you believe what you say, then have pride in your words and don't whisper them from the shadows.
Friday, February 15, 2008
This is what a predator should look like
Check out this guy! It is a new species of meat-eating dinosaur called Eocarcharia dinops, or "fierce-eyed dawn shark." The University of Chicago released pictures of it yesterday. Apparently, fossils of it were discovered in Africa.
I love therapods! When we had Sue at Exploration Place a few years ago, I enjoyed getting visitors to stand near her head and look down her throat. I would say, "Now imagine you are a young Edmontosaurus and this is the last thing you ever see! Makes you feel like a chicken McNugget, huh?"
Now, this dude is especially weird. It wouldn't surprise me if he was one of the monsters that stalked H.P. Lovecraft's nightmares. Hmm. Cthulu's lap dog?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Once again, the USA mirrors the Romans
One of the perks that a Roman soldier could earn upon retirement was enough land to start a new life as a citizen (tax paying) farmer. Not bad after 25 years of having barbarians trying to kill you.
Like so many of our ways and institutions, we once again look to Rome to help recruit and help our soldiers. This time, the Army will help recruits buy a house. Fortunately, our soldiers don't have to conquer Gaul with Caesar to get the land. Not that the French wouldn't deserve it...
Like so many of our ways and institutions, we once again look to Rome to help recruit and help our soldiers. This time, the Army will help recruits buy a house. Fortunately, our soldiers don't have to conquer Gaul with Caesar to get the land. Not that the French wouldn't deserve it...
This time, the fruits and nuts are outnumbered
Ah, Berkeley. The lefty of the lefties. Where hippies still think it is 1968 and earthquakes are seen as a bad acid trip. Home of protests. But wait, is this a change "blowin' in the wind?"
Semper Fi!
Semper Fi!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
As a highly educated person, this should upset me. But...
The University of Colorado may well be on the right track, and not the tenure track. Once again, it is all about money. As the cost of higher education skyrockets, the PhD's that are running the colleges don't seem to have the answers. Though I agree that PhD's should be doing the research that can bring in money, it seems financially smart to hire the people who can bring in larger chunks money, regardless of their level of education. If university foundations can benefit from the fund-raising expertise of less-educated individuals, then scholarships can increase and more people can afford college.
Just my thinking.
Just my thinking.
Now THAT'S funny!
"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."
- Fulton J. Sheen
- Fulton J. Sheen
Monday, February 11, 2008
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Reason to Hate Kansas #357
Huckabee just won the Republican primary. I guess that shouldn't surprise me since the Evangelicals are pretty much in control there. Nazareth is not Jesus' hometown, but Wichita.
Dog is God's co-pilot
For those of us who always knew that dogs are proof of the divine, here is the Kato Indian legend of creation. Notice the only two creatures around before the universe was created: God and His dog!
Nagaicho, the creator, set out to create the world, and he took along a dog. He placed four big pillars at the corners of the earth to hold up the sky. He created man from the dirt, and then he created woman.
The sun became hot, the moon was cold, and trees grew everywhere. Waves danced on the surface of the ocean and all the creatures of the seas swam in it and were happy.
Then Nagaicho saw that the creatures of the earth needed water. He dragged his feet deep into the Earth and created rivers. He poked his fingers into the Earth and created flowing springs.
And the elk and the deer came to drink at the rivers and springs.
"Drink", Nagaicho said to the dog. And the dog drank from the sweet water, and Nagaicho himself lay down and drank.
"It is good. They will all drink it," said Nagaicho.
Then Nagaicho piled rocks around the edge of the water and made lakes and ponds.
"Drink the good water" he said to the dog. "Drink, my dog."
And the dog drank, and Nagaicho lay down and plunged his face in the water and drank.
"It is good," he said. "Bears and people will drink here," he said.
The Nagaicho put salamanders and turtles and little eels in the creeks. He put grizzlies and deer in the mountains and panthers and jack rabbits. So Nagaicho walked along, creating the creatures.
"Walk behind me, my dog," said Nagaicho. "Let us look at all that is made."
The trees were tall; the streams were full of fish. The little valleys had grown wide and full of flowering brush.
"Walk fast, my dog," he said. "The land is good."
Acorns and chestnuts hung on the trees. Berries crowded the bushes. There were many birds and snakes. The grass had grown. Grasshoppers were leaping about. There was clover.
"We made it good, my dog," said Nagaicho. And so they started back, Nagaicho and his dog.
The mountains were high; the land was flat; the creeks were full of trout. The good water raced over the rocks.
They walked along. "We are nearly home, my dog," said Nagaicho. "I will drink water. You too drink," he said to the dog.
The face of the earth was covered with growing things. The creatures were multiplying upon it.
And Nagaicho went back into the North with his dog.
Nagaicho, the creator, set out to create the world, and he took along a dog. He placed four big pillars at the corners of the earth to hold up the sky. He created man from the dirt, and then he created woman.
The sun became hot, the moon was cold, and trees grew everywhere. Waves danced on the surface of the ocean and all the creatures of the seas swam in it and were happy.
Then Nagaicho saw that the creatures of the earth needed water. He dragged his feet deep into the Earth and created rivers. He poked his fingers into the Earth and created flowing springs.
And the elk and the deer came to drink at the rivers and springs.
"Drink", Nagaicho said to the dog. And the dog drank from the sweet water, and Nagaicho himself lay down and drank.
"It is good. They will all drink it," said Nagaicho.
Then Nagaicho piled rocks around the edge of the water and made lakes and ponds.
"Drink the good water" he said to the dog. "Drink, my dog."
And the dog drank, and Nagaicho lay down and plunged his face in the water and drank.
"It is good," he said. "Bears and people will drink here," he said.
The Nagaicho put salamanders and turtles and little eels in the creeks. He put grizzlies and deer in the mountains and panthers and jack rabbits. So Nagaicho walked along, creating the creatures.
"Walk behind me, my dog," said Nagaicho. "Let us look at all that is made."
The trees were tall; the streams were full of fish. The little valleys had grown wide and full of flowering brush.
"Walk fast, my dog," he said. "The land is good."
Acorns and chestnuts hung on the trees. Berries crowded the bushes. There were many birds and snakes. The grass had grown. Grasshoppers were leaping about. There was clover.
"We made it good, my dog," said Nagaicho. And so they started back, Nagaicho and his dog.
The mountains were high; the land was flat; the creeks were full of trout. The good water raced over the rocks.
They walked along. "We are nearly home, my dog," said Nagaicho. "I will drink water. You too drink," he said to the dog.
The face of the earth was covered with growing things. The creatures were multiplying upon it.
And Nagaicho went back into the North with his dog.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
The ultimate love song
I am a huge Genesis fan and was lucky enough to see them live in 1992. I missed them this time around but was able to see this on YouTube. "Follow You Follow Me" will always be, in my opinion, the greatest love song ever produced.
An ode to my new home state
It's winter in Minnesota
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-five below.
Oh, how I love Minnesota
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Minnesota
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground!
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-five below.
Oh, how I love Minnesota
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Minnesota
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Never, that's when.
Check out this seemingly insightful yet actually clueless article from the Wall Street Journal, a paper usually better than this.
We The People of the United States have, always, always, ALWAYS, been divided and each other's throats when it has come to politics. The Founding Fathers had to compromise on everything in the Constitution, Senators have bludgeoned each other on the Senate floor and we actually went to war with each other over the role of government vs. individual rights. W. is not the first President to "cause deep wounds."
Lesson number one: re-read your 9th grade American history book before you write an article about America. You will probably discover that what you thought was new is actually well over 200 years old and part of what drives politics in this nation.
We The People of the United States have, always, always, ALWAYS, been divided and each other's throats when it has come to politics. The Founding Fathers had to compromise on everything in the Constitution, Senators have bludgeoned each other on the Senate floor and we actually went to war with each other over the role of government vs. individual rights. W. is not the first President to "cause deep wounds."
Lesson number one: re-read your 9th grade American history book before you write an article about America. You will probably discover that what you thought was new is actually well over 200 years old and part of what drives politics in this nation.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
A Holiday Tradition since 1998
Every year, on Groundhog Day, we watch Groundhog Day. A funny and spiritual film that features Bill Murray acting (as well as his brothers). My favorite character is Ned, featured here in one of the funniest clips in the film:
OK, so it isn't that great of a tradition, but it is ours.
OK, so it isn't that great of a tradition, but it is ours.
Monday, February 04, 2008
I'll sign that petition!
I support the idea of a strong third party candidate. It is good for the republic and, if given enough time, a third party can become important (Whig, Republican, Reform, Libertarian). I freely admit to throwing away my vote in 1992 for Ross Perot and, folks, considering what is going to happen on Tuesday, I'm ready to do it again!
They shouldn't have had a pet in the first place!
Yes, pet ownership is a burden, but they come with us when we go, wherever we go and no matter the circumstances. These people are the lowest, but there will be justice. Not only is their credit ruined, but when they die, they will meet Satan's own pack, called hellhounds.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Forget the primaries! Forget democracy!
All you have to do is outlive everyone else, and you get a ticket to the Oval Office. So, Edna, grab your walker and head for Washington!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
The mayor has dropped out...
...and I have nowhere to go. For the first time since I first voted in 1984, I have no candidate to support, vote for or care about. McCain scared me in 2000 and that hasn't changed in eight years. Romney's politics are just slightly to the left of Genghis Khan. Obama is the Paris Hilton of the Democrats and Hillary has all the charm of a cold sore. Plus she and the lecherous hillbilly are a package deal. *shudder*
Last week, the local Obama group met here at the library and I helped them set up. I handed the guy in charge $5 and told him, "Please use this to stop that woman." He asked if I wanted to get involved and I informed him that I don't support his man, I just want "that woman" stopped. He looked downcast and said, "Unfortunately, we get that a lot."
I may just sit this one out and take what comes. I cannot, as an American, moderate and capitalist, vote for any of these people. Now it is my turn to be scared of the direction we are going. Maybe something will change. I can only hope.
Last week, the local Obama group met here at the library and I helped them set up. I handed the guy in charge $5 and told him, "Please use this to stop that woman." He asked if I wanted to get involved and I informed him that I don't support his man, I just want "that woman" stopped. He looked downcast and said, "Unfortunately, we get that a lot."
I may just sit this one out and take what comes. I cannot, as an American, moderate and capitalist, vote for any of these people. Now it is my turn to be scared of the direction we are going. Maybe something will change. I can only hope.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Tish!
I've always said that I have an "unfortunate" attraction to Goth chicks (didn't marry one, just attracted), but I could never figure out why. Now I know...
Over the weekend, I watched some episodes of "The Addams Family" on DVD. I remember watching them in reruns when I was a kid in the mid-70's and thought they were funny. But my young male brain had latched on to something else: Carolyn Jones as Morticia. Pale, shapely, sexy, smart and dressed all in black, complete with black hair and jewellery. Woof! Now I see Goth chicks and hope for Morticia.
Lucky guy, that John Astin...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Don't like Spongebobbery, eh?
For my friend Anwyn's son, the Bean. How about this, dude?
The performer is buried here in Minnesota!
The performer is buried here in Minnesota!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
How I got the job
As Mr. Waturi asked, "I know he can get the job, but can he do the job?" And this time, all I had to do was be myself.
According to my boss, I was not the leading candidate for this job. After the phone interviews, I was a strong candidate, but not the best. That person was a woman from South Carolina. So we all schlepped up to Hibbing to plead our respective cases. I went first and blew them away, not only with my skills and experience, but my large bag of camp songs.
I'm not kidding. Camp songs.
At one point in the interview, I was asked to do a song that I might do in a story time. As there were only adults in the room, it was critical that I make a lasting impression on cynical older people. I blasted my way into one of the most over-the-top camp songs I knew, "Ravioli." After all the singing, note holding, coughing and running about involved in that little ditty, I was permanently a part of their memory, especially short term. Ginny (my boss) said, that after I had left, one of the committee members said, "He's crazy. I like that." She also told me that "Ravioli" rolled around in her head for weeks, especially during the other interviews. I love this profession!
I may get a new desk sign: "Danger. Man with Camp Songs."
According to my boss, I was not the leading candidate for this job. After the phone interviews, I was a strong candidate, but not the best. That person was a woman from South Carolina. So we all schlepped up to Hibbing to plead our respective cases. I went first and blew them away, not only with my skills and experience, but my large bag of camp songs.
I'm not kidding. Camp songs.
At one point in the interview, I was asked to do a song that I might do in a story time. As there were only adults in the room, it was critical that I make a lasting impression on cynical older people. I blasted my way into one of the most over-the-top camp songs I knew, "Ravioli." After all the singing, note holding, coughing and running about involved in that little ditty, I was permanently a part of their memory, especially short term. Ginny (my boss) said, that after I had left, one of the committee members said, "He's crazy. I like that." She also told me that "Ravioli" rolled around in her head for weeks, especially during the other interviews. I love this profession!
I may get a new desk sign: "Danger. Man with Camp Songs."
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Just one degree
As in temperature. Right now, it has climbed above zero here in Hibbing, to one. However, that is quite a warm up from last Saturday, when it was 15 below. Wow. I may start to sweat...
And speaking of Spongebob
As a children's librarian, I am well-served by my vast repertoire of camp songs to use at story time. It is too bad, however, that "The Campfire Song Song" is a little too fast for most pre-schoolers.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
More sympathy lost
Do I feel badly for Hurricane Katrina victims? Yes. However, they had plenty of warning and knew they lived below sea level. When they don't learn a lesson, stupid things will begin to happen. Remember the USFL? Rather than admit to failure, they sued the NFL. The judge awarded them $1.00. I think that is a wonderful precedent. Let's start with the guy from the article above.
Monday, January 07, 2008
He's a killer!
I love dachshunds! My first wife and I had one named Wolfgang. What is best about them is, since they were bred to go down holes after badgers, they have no idea that they are small, goofy looking dogs. Case in point: I walked by a car parked outside the library that contained two mini black and tans. They threw themselves at the windows, barking and snarling, trying to get at me. No doubt they wanted to tear my leg off for having the audacity to come too close to their car. Vicious little monsters!
Good dog!
Good dog!
Friday, January 04, 2008
Life, as I've known it lately
For those of you who are desperate for news about what I've been up to (and I can't imagine who that could possibly be), here is what you have been waiting for. Sorry if I kept you waiting for too long.
I got into Hibbing on December 31 at about 2:30. I didn't do the 13 hour, one-shot drive, but broke it up over two days (Wichita to Des Moines on the 30th, then Des Moines to Hibbing on the 31st). All driving was uneventful, but northern Iowa was very pretty that morning, with fog frozen to the trees. Then Minnesota greeted me with snow showers! Except for my cold, it was an enjoyable drive.
The house in which I'm staying in Hibbing belongs to one of the library board members. It is her mom's place, but that lady is now in an assisted living establishment and the board member didn't want the house sitting empty. So I'm staying there rent free till Cole and Miri join me in our new place here (wherever and whenever that is).
After I got to Hibbing, I unpacked and then did some shopping. After I was settled, I got the TV to work with my DVD player and game consoles. I watched "Gods and Generals," the prequal to "Gettysburg." Good stuff, go rent it. Then I slept for 10 hours, watched more movies, played games, wandered around Wal-Mart, watched another movie, then went back to sleep.
My first day at work was filled with paperwork, passwords and getting my toys set up. Since then, I'm learning circulation, how packed the kid's room is with books and where the bodies are buried. Everyone is very friendly and welcoming, especially since they have been without a children's librarian since August. I'm already getting tours set up. This week, the local paper will be by to interview me (I'll post a link when it comes out) and the library has scheduled an open house on the 15th for everyone to come by and meet me! Honestly, I have never felt so welcome at a new home or job. Yeah, its cold, but the welcome feeling more than makes up for it.
First big project before Winter Reading club: weeding the kid's collection. I've started with items that have not circulated since 2003 and that is just the fiction section. One book truck is already full, so this will be quite an effort.
I got into Hibbing on December 31 at about 2:30. I didn't do the 13 hour, one-shot drive, but broke it up over two days (Wichita to Des Moines on the 30th, then Des Moines to Hibbing on the 31st). All driving was uneventful, but northern Iowa was very pretty that morning, with fog frozen to the trees. Then Minnesota greeted me with snow showers! Except for my cold, it was an enjoyable drive.
The house in which I'm staying in Hibbing belongs to one of the library board members. It is her mom's place, but that lady is now in an assisted living establishment and the board member didn't want the house sitting empty. So I'm staying there rent free till Cole and Miri join me in our new place here (wherever and whenever that is).
After I got to Hibbing, I unpacked and then did some shopping. After I was settled, I got the TV to work with my DVD player and game consoles. I watched "Gods and Generals," the prequal to "Gettysburg." Good stuff, go rent it. Then I slept for 10 hours, watched more movies, played games, wandered around Wal-Mart, watched another movie, then went back to sleep.
My first day at work was filled with paperwork, passwords and getting my toys set up. Since then, I'm learning circulation, how packed the kid's room is with books and where the bodies are buried. Everyone is very friendly and welcoming, especially since they have been without a children's librarian since August. I'm already getting tours set up. This week, the local paper will be by to interview me (I'll post a link when it comes out) and the library has scheduled an open house on the 15th for everyone to come by and meet me! Honestly, I have never felt so welcome at a new home or job. Yeah, its cold, but the welcome feeling more than makes up for it.
First big project before Winter Reading club: weeding the kid's collection. I've started with items that have not circulated since 2003 and that is just the fiction section. One book truck is already full, so this will be quite an effort.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
From Mary Fahl, "Going Home"
I have become quite the traveler of late, and I have left my loved ones behind to go north. They will join me soon, but I'm alone now, wandering yet again. This song reached out to me on Tuesday night. Thanks, Mary.
They say there's a place
where dreams have all gone
They never said where
but I think I know
It's miles through the night
just over the dawn
on the road that will take me home
I know in my bones
I've been here before
The ground feels the same
though the land's been torn
I've a long way to go
The stars tell me soon
this road that will take me home
Love waits for me
'round the bend
Leads me endlessly on
Surely sorrows shall find their end
and all our troubles will be gone
And I'll know what I've lost
and all that I've won
when the road finally takes me home
And when I pass by
don't lead me astray
Don't try to stop me
Don't stand in my way
I'm bound for the hills
where cool waters flow
on this road that will take me home
Love waits for me
'round the bend
Leads me endlessly on
Surely sorrows shall find their end
and all our troubles will be gone
And we'll know what we've lost
and all that we've won
when the road finally takes me home
I'm going home
I'm going home
I'm going home
They say there's a place
where dreams have all gone
They never said where
but I think I know
It's miles through the night
just over the dawn
on the road that will take me home
I know in my bones
I've been here before
The ground feels the same
though the land's been torn
I've a long way to go
The stars tell me soon
this road that will take me home
Love waits for me
'round the bend
Leads me endlessly on
Surely sorrows shall find their end
and all our troubles will be gone
And I'll know what I've lost
and all that I've won
when the road finally takes me home
And when I pass by
don't lead me astray
Don't try to stop me
Don't stand in my way
I'm bound for the hills
where cool waters flow
on this road that will take me home
Love waits for me
'round the bend
Leads me endlessly on
Surely sorrows shall find their end
and all our troubles will be gone
And we'll know what we've lost
and all that we've won
when the road finally takes me home
I'm going home
I'm going home
I'm going home
Monday, December 31, 2007
6:14 pm, December 30, 2007
That's when I crossed out of Kansas on my way to a new life in Minnesota. And I made it safely to Hibbing.
Sure am missing my girls, though...
Sure am missing my girls, though...
Sunday, December 30, 2007
One for the road
(sung to the tune of "I'll be Home for Christmas")
I'll be leaving Kansas
Minnesota will I see
Snow that blows
And Dylan's nose
and eagles in the trees.
New Year's Eve will find me
Where Hibbing's streetlights gleam
Oh, I'll be leaving Kansas
This time its not a dream!
I'll be leaving Kansas
Minnesota will I see
Snow that blows
And Dylan's nose
and eagles in the trees.
New Year's Eve will find me
Where Hibbing's streetlights gleam
Oh, I'll be leaving Kansas
This time its not a dream!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
When Miri asks about Santa...
The Truth about Santa
by Elaine M. Gibson
At some point in every child's life, parents must face the BIG question, What do I tell my child about Santa? When do I tell my child the truth? How do I tell my child that Mom and Dad are really Santa?
I approached these details with a great deal of bias from my own childhood. My parents told me the truth before I wanted to hear it. My cousin asked for a bike and Santa brought him one. I had wanted a bike but Santa didn't bring me one. My mother was worried that I would think Santa loved Jimmy more since Jimmy got his wish.
I don't remember even wanting a bike but I do remember the shock of hearing the truth revealed. My first reaction was that my parents had been lying to me and that was awful. There was also a sense of loss at not being able to believe in Santa Claus anymore. I decided that I would never tell my children that Santa Claus was real and thereby avoid the problem.
"Never say never" should be the slogan for parenthood.
When my first child was less than two years old, we attended the Christmas parade in downtown Bryan, Texas. The parade was almost over when Erin, atop her dad's shoulders, started chanting, "Santa, Santa, Santa!" She saw him and the magic began.
We read the Santa books and she pointed out every Santa image for the entire season. She was obviously thrilled with the whole mystique and I simply watched and enjoyed her excitement. I decided to keep my opinions to myself.
During the next few years, I let her invent her own Santa myths. She adopted ideas from books and films as well as from her friends. We avoided the "Santa only brings gifts IF you are good" routine and the "Santa knows everything you do so you better watch out" propaganda. Both concepts are designed to scare the stuffing out of kids and are used by desperate parents.
As this child began to ask questions, we simply answered with, "What do you think?" and she came up with the answers she was ready to accept and willing to believe.
Next, she really wanted answers but she also wanted to believe in Santa even though it was not making "sense" to her.
We would answer her questions with "It must be magic." Magic, fantasy, and pretend are normal parts of a young child's life and she could live with that answer. Then one December when Erin was four, she asked me the dreaded question, point blank.
"Is Santa real?"
"What do you think? and "Santa is magic" were no longer adequate answers. She demanded an answer but was obviously upset at the anticipated answer. (We were in the car at the time where all meaningful conversations seem to take place.)
Remembering how much I wanted to believe in Santa, I told my daughter that you can believe something is real if you want to believe it. I asked her if she wanted to believe in Santa and she said, "Yes." At that point, she actually decided to believe and convinced herself so well that she went through one more Christmas before explaining the "truth" to me.
Santa is magic and sooner or later everyone understands that there is a trick to all magic. When children begin to understand magic tricks, they figure out the trick to Santa. Erin accepted the fact that parents are Santa and relished the idea of being a Santa for someone else.
Santa Claus is love and love is real.
Some child specialist recommend debunking the Santa myth as soon as possible. Other specialists recommend telling children that Santa is real in response to a child's question. I suspect that both recommendations are the result of personal Christmases long ago.
As a parent, you need to handle the situation in whatever manner is comfortable. Think through your own feelings, be aware of your child's needs, then act accordingly. The "right" thing is what's right for your family.
Personally, I think I will continue to believe in Santa Claus. For as every kid knows, that way you get a present from Santa AND your parents!
by Elaine M. Gibson
At some point in every child's life, parents must face the BIG question, What do I tell my child about Santa? When do I tell my child the truth? How do I tell my child that Mom and Dad are really Santa?
I approached these details with a great deal of bias from my own childhood. My parents told me the truth before I wanted to hear it. My cousin asked for a bike and Santa brought him one. I had wanted a bike but Santa didn't bring me one. My mother was worried that I would think Santa loved Jimmy more since Jimmy got his wish.
I don't remember even wanting a bike but I do remember the shock of hearing the truth revealed. My first reaction was that my parents had been lying to me and that was awful. There was also a sense of loss at not being able to believe in Santa Claus anymore. I decided that I would never tell my children that Santa Claus was real and thereby avoid the problem.
"Never say never" should be the slogan for parenthood.
When my first child was less than two years old, we attended the Christmas parade in downtown Bryan, Texas. The parade was almost over when Erin, atop her dad's shoulders, started chanting, "Santa, Santa, Santa!" She saw him and the magic began.
We read the Santa books and she pointed out every Santa image for the entire season. She was obviously thrilled with the whole mystique and I simply watched and enjoyed her excitement. I decided to keep my opinions to myself.
During the next few years, I let her invent her own Santa myths. She adopted ideas from books and films as well as from her friends. We avoided the "Santa only brings gifts IF you are good" routine and the "Santa knows everything you do so you better watch out" propaganda. Both concepts are designed to scare the stuffing out of kids and are used by desperate parents.
As this child began to ask questions, we simply answered with, "What do you think?" and she came up with the answers she was ready to accept and willing to believe.
Next, she really wanted answers but she also wanted to believe in Santa even though it was not making "sense" to her.
We would answer her questions with "It must be magic." Magic, fantasy, and pretend are normal parts of a young child's life and she could live with that answer. Then one December when Erin was four, she asked me the dreaded question, point blank.
"Is Santa real?"
"What do you think? and "Santa is magic" were no longer adequate answers. She demanded an answer but was obviously upset at the anticipated answer. (We were in the car at the time where all meaningful conversations seem to take place.)
Remembering how much I wanted to believe in Santa, I told my daughter that you can believe something is real if you want to believe it. I asked her if she wanted to believe in Santa and she said, "Yes." At that point, she actually decided to believe and convinced herself so well that she went through one more Christmas before explaining the "truth" to me.
Santa is magic and sooner or later everyone understands that there is a trick to all magic. When children begin to understand magic tricks, they figure out the trick to Santa. Erin accepted the fact that parents are Santa and relished the idea of being a Santa for someone else.
Santa Claus is love and love is real.
Some child specialist recommend debunking the Santa myth as soon as possible. Other specialists recommend telling children that Santa is real in response to a child's question. I suspect that both recommendations are the result of personal Christmases long ago.
As a parent, you need to handle the situation in whatever manner is comfortable. Think through your own feelings, be aware of your child's needs, then act accordingly. The "right" thing is what's right for your family.
Personally, I think I will continue to believe in Santa Claus. For as every kid knows, that way you get a present from Santa AND your parents!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
The MLB Steroids Report
A few observations on the latest scandal in the sport I love to hate:
1. Best "Take-that-you-miserable-prick-and-kiss-your-career-and-Hall-of-Fame-ballot- goodbye" name: Roger Clemons
2. Names that should have been on the list but I'm glad were not: Mark and Sammy
3. Jose Canseco was right. Yike!
4. Maybe skinny guys will reappear, like in the 70's. And any big guys will be genuinely fat, like Willy Stargel.
1. Best "Take-that-you-miserable-prick-and-kiss-your-career-and-Hall-of-Fame-ballot- goodbye" name: Roger Clemons
2. Names that should have been on the list but I'm glad were not: Mark and Sammy
3. Jose Canseco was right. Yike!
4. Maybe skinny guys will reappear, like in the 70's. And any big guys will be genuinely fat, like Willy Stargel.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Think you know "A Christmas Story?"
I love this movie! Do you? Try these trivia questions! Long live Ralphie!
(Answers posted in Comments)
1. What is Ralphie's last name?
2. Where does he live (street, town, state)?
3. What does he want for Christmas? (Be exact.)
4. According to his mom, teacher and Santa, what will happen if he gets it?
5. What does Ralphie explicitly not want for Christmas?
6. What is the name of the local department store?
7. What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
8. What did the "clodhopper down in Griffith, Ind.," swallow?
9. What contest does Ralphie's dad enter?
10. What is first prize?
11. What is Ralphie's brother's name?
12. Who directed, produced and co-wrote the movie?
13. This man also directed what 1982 movie about a group of Florida high schoolers and a sleazy nightclub owner?
14. What magazine does Ralphie's mother read?
15. According to Ralphie (as he tries to con his dad), what did Flick see near Pulaski's Candy Store?
16. What are the parents' names?
17. What did the father want for Christmas?
18. What does he get?
19. In his dream sequence, what does Ralphie call his trusty firearm?
20. In that dream, who's the leader of the desperadoes who attack his house?
21. What kind of car does Dad drive?
22. To the best of Ralphie's knowledge, where does his dad's "tapestry of obscenity" hover to this day?
23. Why does the little brother cry before going to school?
24. What song's sheet music is written on the blackboard in Ralphie's class?
25. What is the name of Ralphie's teacher?
26. What is the name of the neighborhood bully?
27. What color eyes does he have?
28. This bully is played by Zack Ward. In what Fox comedy did he co-star as an adult?
29. What is the name of his toadie sidekick?
30. Name two things confiscated from students in the teacher's desk.
31. What book is the class reading?
32. What is the most serious of all dares?
33. Melinda Dillon, who plays Ralphie's mom, appears topless in what 1977 movie?
34. Where does Ralphie sit in class?
35. What theme does the teacher assign to the class?
36. What is the name of Ralphie's neighbors?
37. Who wrote and narrated "A Christmas Story"?
38. Who does he play on-screen in the film?
39. What does Dad guess is his "Major Award"?
40. When the crate arrives, where does he think it's from?
41. How much does Dad tip the delivery guys?
42. How long has Ralphie's brother not eaten voluntarily?
43. When did Mom last have a hot meal for herself?
44. What is the Major Award?
45. What is the nickname of the neighbor Dad talks to across the street?
46. What time did "Lil' Orphan Annie" start?
47. Who is the sponsor of the radio show?
48. What grade does Ralphie get on his theme?
49. How fast can Dad change a flat tire?
50. What brand of soap does Ralphie like to have his mouth washed out with?
51. What brand does he hate?
52. When Mom breaks Dad's Major Award, what "crusher" of a line does he stammer out?
53. What does Dad then do with his Major Award?
54. What kind of dogs do the neighbors have?
55. Who had tickets to the Bears-Packers game?
56. Characters from this movie march in the Christmas parade.
57. Some of these characters pretend to beat up what other character in the parade?
58. Who/what does "Goggle Boy" waiting in line like?
59. What year did "A Christmas Story" likely take place?
60. What does the department store Santa hate?
61. Ralphie's dad could replace a fuse faster than what?
62. What gifts did Ralphie and his brother throw over their shoulders in disgust?
63. What are the names of Ralphie's two friends?
64. Name three gifts Ralphie's brother received for Christmas.
65. What is the name of Ralphie's aunt?
66. What does she think Ralphie is?
67. What does she make him as a gift?
68. What two things does Dad say Ralphie looks like wearing it?
69. What school does Ralphie attend?
70. What does Dad offer Ralphie on Christmas morning?
71. What is Dad's favorite food?
72. What happens to Ralphie's glasses on Christmas morning?
73. According to Mom, what will Dad get if he eats dinner before it's completely cooked?
74. What day of the week does Christmas fall on that year?
75. Where does the family go out to eat on Christmas night?
76. What is above the restaurant?
76. What two songs do the wait staff sing?
77. How is that dinner like da Vinci's "The Last Supper"?
78. What is the problem with the duck that's served?
79. How is this resolved?
80. What does adult Ralphie call duck?
(Answers posted in Comments)
1. What is Ralphie's last name?
2. Where does he live (street, town, state)?
3. What does he want for Christmas? (Be exact.)
4. According to his mom, teacher and Santa, what will happen if he gets it?
5. What does Ralphie explicitly not want for Christmas?
6. What is the name of the local department store?
7. What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
8. What did the "clodhopper down in Griffith, Ind.," swallow?
9. What contest does Ralphie's dad enter?
10. What is first prize?
11. What is Ralphie's brother's name?
12. Who directed, produced and co-wrote the movie?
13. This man also directed what 1982 movie about a group of Florida high schoolers and a sleazy nightclub owner?
14. What magazine does Ralphie's mother read?
15. According to Ralphie (as he tries to con his dad), what did Flick see near Pulaski's Candy Store?
16. What are the parents' names?
17. What did the father want for Christmas?
18. What does he get?
19. In his dream sequence, what does Ralphie call his trusty firearm?
20. In that dream, who's the leader of the desperadoes who attack his house?
21. What kind of car does Dad drive?
22. To the best of Ralphie's knowledge, where does his dad's "tapestry of obscenity" hover to this day?
23. Why does the little brother cry before going to school?
24. What song's sheet music is written on the blackboard in Ralphie's class?
25. What is the name of Ralphie's teacher?
26. What is the name of the neighborhood bully?
27. What color eyes does he have?
28. This bully is played by Zack Ward. In what Fox comedy did he co-star as an adult?
29. What is the name of his toadie sidekick?
30. Name two things confiscated from students in the teacher's desk.
31. What book is the class reading?
32. What is the most serious of all dares?
33. Melinda Dillon, who plays Ralphie's mom, appears topless in what 1977 movie?
34. Where does Ralphie sit in class?
35. What theme does the teacher assign to the class?
36. What is the name of Ralphie's neighbors?
37. Who wrote and narrated "A Christmas Story"?
38. Who does he play on-screen in the film?
39. What does Dad guess is his "Major Award"?
40. When the crate arrives, where does he think it's from?
41. How much does Dad tip the delivery guys?
42. How long has Ralphie's brother not eaten voluntarily?
43. When did Mom last have a hot meal for herself?
44. What is the Major Award?
45. What is the nickname of the neighbor Dad talks to across the street?
46. What time did "Lil' Orphan Annie" start?
47. Who is the sponsor of the radio show?
48. What grade does Ralphie get on his theme?
49. How fast can Dad change a flat tire?
50. What brand of soap does Ralphie like to have his mouth washed out with?
51. What brand does he hate?
52. When Mom breaks Dad's Major Award, what "crusher" of a line does he stammer out?
53. What does Dad then do with his Major Award?
54. What kind of dogs do the neighbors have?
55. Who had tickets to the Bears-Packers game?
56. Characters from this movie march in the Christmas parade.
57. Some of these characters pretend to beat up what other character in the parade?
58. Who/what does "Goggle Boy" waiting in line like?
59. What year did "A Christmas Story" likely take place?
60. What does the department store Santa hate?
61. Ralphie's dad could replace a fuse faster than what?
62. What gifts did Ralphie and his brother throw over their shoulders in disgust?
63. What are the names of Ralphie's two friends?
64. Name three gifts Ralphie's brother received for Christmas.
65. What is the name of Ralphie's aunt?
66. What does she think Ralphie is?
67. What does she make him as a gift?
68. What two things does Dad say Ralphie looks like wearing it?
69. What school does Ralphie attend?
70. What does Dad offer Ralphie on Christmas morning?
71. What is Dad's favorite food?
72. What happens to Ralphie's glasses on Christmas morning?
73. According to Mom, what will Dad get if he eats dinner before it's completely cooked?
74. What day of the week does Christmas fall on that year?
75. Where does the family go out to eat on Christmas night?
76. What is above the restaurant?
76. What two songs do the wait staff sing?
77. How is that dinner like da Vinci's "The Last Supper"?
78. What is the problem with the duck that's served?
79. How is this resolved?
80. What does adult Ralphie call duck?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Not so cold after all
Well, that horrible ice storm that blasted everyone else just rained a lot on Wichita, though I spent the day at home (school was closed the day before) getting ready for everything to go out. There were benefits, however. We didn't have to pay a babysitter, I got a nap and I got to watch the entire first season of "The Drew Cary Show" on DVD.
Hey, it was MY day off, so that is a benefit...
Hey, it was MY day off, so that is a benefit...
Monday, December 10, 2007
That icy cold feeling part II
The second ice storm in three years is on its way. And the tree that caused my week-long power outage last time is still there...and three years older.
Hibbing has 2 feet of snow and has a temperature of -18 degrees this morning. I'd rather be there.
Hibbing has 2 feet of snow and has a temperature of -18 degrees this morning. I'd rather be there.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
A quiet week for blogging...
...but not for me. Many things going on at school, home (Cole's birthday, Miri's birthday, Hanukkah, getting ready to move) plus I'm feeling under the weather. So, no posts this week. Check in next week.
So, till then:
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"
So, till then:
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"
Friday, November 30, 2007
I'm sick to being tolerant!
Politically Correct bozos be damned! Because of this, I am going to start using the word "crusade" again when referring to fighting terrorism in the Middle East. Why do I have to continue to keep a civil tongue and pick my words carefully so as not to defend these idiots...er...deeply religious followers of the peaceful prophet (name deleted)?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Grammar 911!
From the Opinion Line of today's Wichita Eagle:
Another baby gets mauled and almost killed by another pit bull. They should be completely outlawed in Wichita, and it should be a felony for anyone caught having one.
Okay, it should be a felony to own a pitbull...or a baby? Be specific! Or your baby could be put down for mauling a pit bull.
Another baby gets mauled and almost killed by another pit bull. They should be completely outlawed in Wichita, and it should be a felony for anyone caught having one.
Okay, it should be a felony to own a pitbull...or a baby? Be specific! Or your baby could be put down for mauling a pit bull.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Actual "chief executive" stuff
I have never believed that the presidency should be the moral compass of the nation. It is impossible to legislate morality, so why expect the chief executive to worry about? The president should be dealing with the day-to-day running of the executive branch, defending the country and making sure that we can go about our lives with a minimum of fuss. Like this.
And this is why regular people should be president. Not Rhodes scholars, wives of Rhodes scholars or anybody whose address includes "The Hamptons."
And this is why regular people should be president. Not Rhodes scholars, wives of Rhodes scholars or anybody whose address includes "The Hamptons."
Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Clause (abridged)
American pop culture has too much influence on the rest of the planet. Even our offensive slange has crept out there and spoiled Christmas for kids in Australia. I'll be playing Santa in the upcoming holiday show, so I guess I need to watch my Christmas spirit, huh? Ho's up, Santas down.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
At least Bush can stay on task!
As a person easily distracted by shiny objects, I can sympathise. But I don't want to be president! This comes from the John Edwards campaign in Iowa:
At a farm in Cylinder, Iowa, last month, when latecomers unfolded chairs, he paused from remarks about Iran. “Are you going to keep rattling chairs while I am talking?” he said, not in an unfriendly way. Later, he had to be reminded by them what he had been talking about.
I mean, what would happen if he was deciding on whether or not to push the button and a squirrel ran past the Oval Office window?
At a farm in Cylinder, Iowa, last month, when latecomers unfolded chairs, he paused from remarks about Iran. “Are you going to keep rattling chairs while I am talking?” he said, not in an unfriendly way. Later, he had to be reminded by them what he had been talking about.
I mean, what would happen if he was deciding on whether or not to push the button and a squirrel ran past the Oval Office window?
Monday, November 12, 2007
Not allowed to serve.
Veteran's Day is always tough for me since I'm patriotic and have always wanted to serve my country. I feel guilty that I have not done my part like so many others. And with the new incentives to join coupled with the fact that at the age of 41, I still have one year of eligibility to join up. But the military has always found a reason to turn me away.
Right out of high school, I went to the Navy, but they said no because I had ulcers at the time. In my early 30's, the Air Force recruited me to be an officer, then denied me because I was a sleep walker. Several years later, I was ready to go into the Army Reserve and made it all the way to the physical when the doctor pronounced my mitral valve prolapse a "heart murmur" (which, according to my cardiologist, isn't). I don't see how any of those things could stop me from pulling a trigger, but rules are rules and I still respect an honor those who went...and are still there.
Thanks. For all you do.
Right out of high school, I went to the Navy, but they said no because I had ulcers at the time. In my early 30's, the Air Force recruited me to be an officer, then denied me because I was a sleep walker. Several years later, I was ready to go into the Army Reserve and made it all the way to the physical when the doctor pronounced my mitral valve prolapse a "heart murmur" (which, according to my cardiologist, isn't). I don't see how any of those things could stop me from pulling a trigger, but rules are rules and I still respect an honor those who went...and are still there.
Thanks. For all you do.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
If Ohio State doesn't win the BCS Championship...
...whoever does should send Illinois a really big fruit basket. Or one of their scholarships.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
I'm just sayin'...
Hillary Clinton claims she is qualified to be president because of the time she already has spent in the White House. I wonder if Monica Lewinsky ought to run for president.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Any dog owner knows this already
This is an intersting study, but, as a dog owner, all I can say is, "Well, duh." Check out paragraph four about the original study; must have been done by cat owners.
Monday, November 05, 2007
'Cause I'm ethnocentric and love bashing other countries, especially France
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
NOTE: None of these are original. If you don't like this, its not my fault...
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
NOTE: None of these are original. If you don't like this, its not my fault...
Friday, November 02, 2007
At least they weren't truck drivers!
Having flown over the boredom that is Kansas, I can completely understand.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Fred, when you get to Hell, you'll be rooming with Hitler
BTW, that's a soldier dancing on the grave.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
It must be Bush's fault!
The global warming kabal must be thrilled that there is a tropical storm this late in the season. I mean, tracking this sort of thing is so much more important than actually helping the people in the Bahamas.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Hey there Little Red Riding Hood (Miri prepares for Halloween)
Mama always says, "Cutie is as cutie does." And why isn't this pumpkin made of chocolate?
It's a pumpkin chorus! A one and a two and a...
Tuning up for Trick or Treating. *ahem* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gimme.
Thank you, BoSox
By sweeping the Rockies, you have brought another interminable baseball season to an end. And early, at that. God, I hate that game...
Friday, October 26, 2007
No, let's not!
Help! I was walking past the music room at the lower school, and I heard something most horrifying: "The Time Warp" sung by kids! After class, I had the teacher play it for me. Not only were there pre-adolescents singing the Rocky Horror classic, but (and I'm not making this up) NONE OF THE LYRICS HAD BEEN CHANGED! *shudder*
Don't believe me? The album is called "DJ's Choice: Kid's Pop Halloween Songs," (c) 2003 Turn Up the Music, Inc.
With a bit of a mind flip is right!
Don't believe me? The album is called "DJ's Choice: Kid's Pop Halloween Songs," (c) 2003 Turn Up the Music, Inc.
With a bit of a mind flip is right!
Cavemen, er, cavepeople
Yes! Finally, the evidence for what I have said all along: we dorky red-heads are just evolutionary throw backs. Cute, sure, but just a bunch knuckle dragging mouth breathers...
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Variation on a classic
Classic:
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve grasshoppers here!" The grasshopper says, "That's okay. I only wanted a beer."
Variation:
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Dave?"
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve grasshoppers here!" The grasshopper says, "That's okay. I only wanted a beer."
Variation:
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Dave?"
Think you have problems with squirrels now?
"They may take our lives, but they'll never take our acorns!"
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Sorry, no good stories.
It pretty much went as planned, with only two problems:
1. I was lost for one hour in Minneapolis trying to find my hotel on Saturday night.
2. There was a 30 minute delay in Denver due to snow.
It sure is beautiful up there in Minnesota. All extremities crossed! I'll know October 29 if I got the job.
1. I was lost for one hour in Minneapolis trying to find my hotel on Saturday night.
2. There was a 30 minute delay in Denver due to snow.
It sure is beautiful up there in Minnesota. All extremities crossed! I'll know October 29 if I got the job.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Start again!
OK, I'm still going to Hibbing, but no longer driving the entire way. Last night, we went to pick up the rental car at Hertz and was told they had no more cars, even though I had a reservation. Hertz sent me to Enterprise, who would not honor the unlimited mileage (turns out Hertz would not have, either, even though I had a reservation slip from them with "unlimited mileage" printed on it). So much for the cheap car.
We went home and I got a last-minute flight to Minneapolis from Wichita. I leave Wichita at 3:30pm, have a 3 hour layover in Denver, arrive in Minneapolis at 10pm, then get a rental car (confirmed, paid for and verbally checked!) for the 3.5 hour drive to Hibbing. I'm done in Hibbing around 3pm on Saturday, then don't have anywhere to be till 6:30am Sunday, when my return flight leaves Minneapolis. After another 3 hour stay in Denver, I get back to Wichita at 12:30pm.
One plane change allows the airline to lose my one piece of luggage, but at least I can add two more states to my list: Minnesota and Colorado. ("The furthest west I've been? The Denver airport. The furthest north? Hibbing, MN.")
We went home and I got a last-minute flight to Minneapolis from Wichita. I leave Wichita at 3:30pm, have a 3 hour layover in Denver, arrive in Minneapolis at 10pm, then get a rental car (confirmed, paid for and verbally checked!) for the 3.5 hour drive to Hibbing. I'm done in Hibbing around 3pm on Saturday, then don't have anywhere to be till 6:30am Sunday, when my return flight leaves Minneapolis. After another 3 hour stay in Denver, I get back to Wichita at 12:30pm.
One plane change allows the airline to lose my one piece of luggage, but at least I can add two more states to my list: Minnesota and Colorado. ("The furthest west I've been? The Denver airport. The furthest north? Hibbing, MN.")
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Give this man the Pulitzer
I will never look down on sports journalism again, not after I read this. Wow. Nervy and truthful.
White line fever
I will be driving quite a bit this weekend, as I have been offered an interview in Hibbing, MN. The library needs a youth services librarian and pays half again more than I am making now. However, I'll be spending 11-12 hours alone in the car each way. "Harry Potter" on tape is a good thing.For those of you thinking, "Hibbing, MN? Where have I heard that before?" It is Bob Dylan's home town.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Turkish Delight
During the Balkans crisis (remember that one?), my military history teacher had a solution: give the Turks whatever they want and let them go. I still believe it.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The Season of Candy
I have determined that here in the US, there are two seasons: summer and candy. As summer wanes, the amount of candy available begins to skyrocket due to the approach of Halloween. That amount stays high all through winter and spring because of all of the candy-oriented holidays along the way. It finally comes to an end just after Easter, when the last cream egg disappears from the drug store counter. Then summer begins again. Or should that be called "The Season of Diet."
Monday, October 15, 2007
If it weren't for the honor, I'd decline!
This weekend was the final weekend for boat tours at the zoo. The main animals to see are lemurs, and they were taken in to their winter quarters on Friday. I enjoy piloting the boats, so when I was given the last run on Sunday, I was thrilled. I should have declined...
It was cloudy, but the threatening rain had not shown up all day, so it seemed unlikely to start. I took out five visitors, who were happy for the late afternoon ride, even though there were no animals to see. At the turn-around point (10 minutes out, 10 minutes back to the dock) the heavens opened up and rain came down in sheets. Visibility was lousy as I gunned the engine to get back. The passengers were wet but laughing, so I figured all was well. But, as we were about minutes from the dock, the engine stalled and would not restart. As the rain came down even harder, I discovered the primary gas tank was empty. I told the folks to cross their fingers as I checked the auxiliary tank. A little bit of liquid sloshed in it and, praying it wasn't just water, I switched over and fired up the engine. We made it to within sight of the dock when the engine stalled again and we coasted into the berth, my game passengers singing the "Gilligan's Island" theme.
As we were secured to the dock, it stopped raining. I offered refunds, but nobody took and went away laughing. I asked the team leader about the gas. Apparently, those in charge decided not to buy any more for the boats since it was the last weekend and the main tank "was full this morning." Rather than beat her to death, I just clocked out and went home for some soup.
It was cloudy, but the threatening rain had not shown up all day, so it seemed unlikely to start. I took out five visitors, who were happy for the late afternoon ride, even though there were no animals to see. At the turn-around point (10 minutes out, 10 minutes back to the dock) the heavens opened up and rain came down in sheets. Visibility was lousy as I gunned the engine to get back. The passengers were wet but laughing, so I figured all was well. But, as we were about minutes from the dock, the engine stalled and would not restart. As the rain came down even harder, I discovered the primary gas tank was empty. I told the folks to cross their fingers as I checked the auxiliary tank. A little bit of liquid sloshed in it and, praying it wasn't just water, I switched over and fired up the engine. We made it to within sight of the dock when the engine stalled again and we coasted into the berth, my game passengers singing the "Gilligan's Island" theme.
As we were secured to the dock, it stopped raining. I offered refunds, but nobody took and went away laughing. I asked the team leader about the gas. Apparently, those in charge decided not to buy any more for the boats since it was the last weekend and the main tank "was full this morning." Rather than beat her to death, I just clocked out and went home for some soup.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Look before you leap
Under the heading of "Just because you can doesn't mean you should:"
1. Putting beans in your nose
2. Amending the Constitution to protect the Flag
3. Skydiving
4. Swimming with sharks
5. Impeaching Bill Clinton
6. Dressing in armor and fighting with swords when you are 41
7. And this.
1. Putting beans in your nose
2. Amending the Constitution to protect the Flag
3. Skydiving
4. Swimming with sharks
5. Impeaching Bill Clinton
6. Dressing in armor and fighting with swords when you are 41
7. And this.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
Joke (kinda)
What goes clippity-clop, clippity-clop, BANG! BANG!, clippity-clop?
A drive-by shooting in Lancaster County, PA.
A drive-by shooting in Lancaster County, PA.
A confession...
I'm a librarian, complete with fancy degree from the top library school in the United States. I work hard to encourage reading and literacy. The Dewey Decimal System holds no mystery for me. And I can shelve books with the best. But, here is my secret librarian sin...I don't read much.
I'm not a bibliophile. At library school, when all my classmates gushed about books and libraries growing up, I admitted that librarianship looked like a good job. On quiet, rainy afternoons, I don't curl up with a book, I take a nap. I'd rather go for a hike in the woods than get hopelessly lost in a used bookstore. And those creepy old stacks in a library are, to me, just that: creepy.
As a kid, I read voraciously. Then I hit college and reading became work. And in library school, 90% of what I had to read was crap. Boring crap. By academic librarians. Oy.
What was the last book I read, cover to cover? No idea. What was the last item I read where I didn't skip whole chapters just to finish? Don't recall. What book influenced me the most? Probably a short one.
So now, when patrons are aghast when I admit that I haven't read the book they are holding, I just smile like the Cheshire Cat. Which was, I think, a character in some book...
I'm not a bibliophile. At library school, when all my classmates gushed about books and libraries growing up, I admitted that librarianship looked like a good job. On quiet, rainy afternoons, I don't curl up with a book, I take a nap. I'd rather go for a hike in the woods than get hopelessly lost in a used bookstore. And those creepy old stacks in a library are, to me, just that: creepy.
As a kid, I read voraciously. Then I hit college and reading became work. And in library school, 90% of what I had to read was crap. Boring crap. By academic librarians. Oy.
What was the last book I read, cover to cover? No idea. What was the last item I read where I didn't skip whole chapters just to finish? Don't recall. What book influenced me the most? Probably a short one.
So now, when patrons are aghast when I admit that I haven't read the book they are holding, I just smile like the Cheshire Cat. Which was, I think, a character in some book...
Misplaced tradition and the Cubs
Here are some suggestions from somebody that hates baseball,but is interested enough to see that change is needed.
First, North siders and other Cub fans need to realize that the "storied tradition" of the Chicago Cubs is one of failure. Looking back fondly on failure is not healthy and helps to create to the atmosphere of losing that the team is mired in. Remember, failure is a habit. "Lovable Losers" should not be nickname used fondly. Once they can all realize that, change can be made and for the better. Please, keep that in mind as I extol.
1. Change the uniforms! The wimpy little letter "c" on a bright blue cap does not instill fear in an opponent. Go dark blue and put a large old English "C" on the cap. The Cubs are not an American League team, so why dress like one?
2. Move! Let's face it, Wrigley is a dump! Fans and players expect better facilities these days and keeping Wrigley just because it is the oldest park in the majors is just keeping up with the tradition of failure. Some options:
a. Rebuild. Knock down old Wrigley and make a new, state of the art facility with the look of the old place. See Camden Yard and Fenway Park for examples. Take the ivy and that awful Harry Cary statue if you must.
b. If it won't fit in Wrigleyville, move to a suburb. There are plenty of successful sports franchises that exist outside the limits of their city. Try Plainfield, the fifth fastest growing suburb in the nation.
c. Go to Indianapolis. Indy has been desperate for a major league team for as long as the Cubs have been losers. And franchises move all the time, usually for the better. The Dodgers, Giants and A's are the best examples.
To go forward, you can't look back.
First, North siders and other Cub fans need to realize that the "storied tradition" of the Chicago Cubs is one of failure. Looking back fondly on failure is not healthy and helps to create to the atmosphere of losing that the team is mired in. Remember, failure is a habit. "Lovable Losers" should not be nickname used fondly. Once they can all realize that, change can be made and for the better. Please, keep that in mind as I extol.
1. Change the uniforms! The wimpy little letter "c" on a bright blue cap does not instill fear in an opponent. Go dark blue and put a large old English "C" on the cap. The Cubs are not an American League team, so why dress like one?
2. Move! Let's face it, Wrigley is a dump! Fans and players expect better facilities these days and keeping Wrigley just because it is the oldest park in the majors is just keeping up with the tradition of failure. Some options:
a. Rebuild. Knock down old Wrigley and make a new, state of the art facility with the look of the old place. See Camden Yard and Fenway Park for examples. Take the ivy and that awful Harry Cary statue if you must.
b. If it won't fit in Wrigleyville, move to a suburb. There are plenty of successful sports franchises that exist outside the limits of their city. Try Plainfield, the fifth fastest growing suburb in the nation.
c. Go to Indianapolis. Indy has been desperate for a major league team for as long as the Cubs have been losers. And franchises move all the time, usually for the better. The Dodgers, Giants and A's are the best examples.
To go forward, you can't look back.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
POTUS trivia
Presidents have never really been that popular...or healthy. If W. finishes his second term (which he should, barring accident or Pelosi), it will be the first time that two presidents have finished two complete, back-to-back terms since (get this) Thomas Jefferson (1801-1809) and James Madison (1809-1817). Nearly 200 years of indecision and death!
A useless statistic, to be sure. You'd think I would enjoy baseball more...
A useless statistic, to be sure. You'd think I would enjoy baseball more...
Island hopping, rodent style
It seems simple enough: send the little buggers to this place. Nobody will even notice.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Funniest (and saddest) moment in Ameican history
This happened on December 21, 1970. Elvis wanted to be a DEA agent at large and Nixon wanted to look more in tune with young people. And, lo and behold, we got this shot. And here you thought I was going to say it was the Cub's 2003 collapse (this year's should be even better).
Friday, September 28, 2007
Rah.
Homecoming is today here at The Independant School. There is nothing in the world like the sound of 1st graders singing (screaming) the school fight song (set to the tune of "On Wisconsin"). This afternoon we will all troop over to the auditorium, where high school kids will chant and scream, and scare the living Hell out of the grade schoolers. Then, all teachers will be forced to participate in the homecoming parade. Joy. Go. Team.
This sort of thing is hard for librarians, who as a rule, never cared for this sort of thing, even when we were kids. But, if you insist...Go Illini!
This sort of thing is hard for librarians, who as a rule, never cared for this sort of thing, even when we were kids. But, if you insist...Go Illini!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Here Leezard Leezard
Miri is into toy animals and she has a lot of them. She is especially fond of lizards, frogs and dinosaurs. So when I went into her room to pick up, I was not surprised to see a lizard that I didn't recognize. But when I bent down to pick it up, it ran off! Apparently, as the weather starts to turn, the Great Plains Skink may move indoors.
Well, I have nothing against lizards that eat bugs, but I didn't want Miri to freak if she saw it. It had run under her bed, so I had Frippen flush it out. I scooped it up and put it outside. Maybe it will eat a few of those huge, brown spiders that show up at this time of the year.
Well, I have nothing against lizards that eat bugs, but I didn't want Miri to freak if she saw it. It had run under her bed, so I had Frippen flush it out. I scooped it up and put it outside. Maybe it will eat a few of those huge, brown spiders that show up at this time of the year.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Back from the dead
OK, back to posting. I just got over the flu, which had been going around the family (Cole and Miri were feverish and sleepy; I got the whole thing Tuesday and spent the afternoon on the bathroom floor). Now, after an extra day of sleeping, I can get back at it, whatever "it" might be. But I missed "Talk Like A Pirate day." ar...
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of...Red Cream Soda!
ARRRR! Shiver me timber, me hearties. And don't ye be fergittin' that tomorrow be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! So go into work wearing a really big hat and fake parrot, and answer the phone "Ahoy!"
Avast ye!
Musket Max (according to the Pirate name generator)
Avast ye!
Musket Max (according to the Pirate name generator)
Friday, September 14, 2007
OK, but who cares?
I sure don't. So, please pass the potatoes with a side of global warming. And the A-1 sauce.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070913/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_climate_meat;_ylt=Altwmx16lOthgJfizbljxRntiBIF
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070913/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_climate_meat;_ylt=Altwmx16lOthgJfizbljxRntiBIF
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Vanity, thy name is Osama
Most men dye their hair as they get older in order to attract younger women. Apparently, bin Laden has to look younger to attract younger followers. And since most of his followers are young men...
I'm just sayin'.
I'm just sayin'.
Monday, September 10, 2007
43%
That is all I've visited. Not very impressive. AND the furthest west I've ever been is pretty much were I am right now.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Book Reccomendation
All I can say is, "Wow!" Great story, well written for kids, and the illustrations should have won an award!
Arthur and the Sword by Robert Sabuda. (C) 1995, Atheneum Books for Young Readers. ISBN 0-689-31987-8.
(Cindy and Melissa: go get this one for your sons!)
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Enemies list
Like Mr. Nixon, I have an enemies list. New to it: 5th graders. Lippy little bastards. Since they are the oldest in the lower school, they think they know everything. Its almost too bad that I will not see them next year as 6th graders, as their egos get a big dose of middle school smack-down.
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