Truth

Where I met my wife

Today I heard that the Governor of Illinois is closing many state parks and historic sites as a budget saving measure. I won't get into that...

One of them is the Jubilee College Historic Site near Peoria. I will miss it, since so many great memories are attached to the place. It is where I met my wonderful, beautiful wife, at a medieval re-enactment. She was quite the noble lady and I was her knight in armor.

Here is a view of the place. I hope it survives.


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A dark horse...even though he's blond!

As Rachel Lucas would say...

...what an asshole.

Honestly, does the VP selection really matter?

Listen to people who have been there:

Thomas Marshall, Woodrow Wilson's vice president, said the vice president "is like a man in a cataleptic state: he cannot speak; he cannot move; he suffers no pain; and yet he is perfectly conscious of everything that is going on about him."

FDR's first veep "Cactus Jack" Garner described the office of the vice presidency as being "not worth a bucket of warm piss" (not "warm spit" as is generally believed).

When the Whig Party was looking for a vice president on Zachary Taylor's ticket, they approached Daniel Webster, who said of the offer "I do not intend to be buried until I am dead."

Truman wryly remarked that the job of the vice president was to "go to weddings and funerals."

Just pay your fines!

The secret is out! Watch out for those library cops!

Honestly, I can't wait to see the fall out from this one.

My last Bill Clinton joke...maybe

I've always wondered: if Wonder Woman caught Bill Clinton in her Golden Lasso, would it explode?

Three year olds are a different matter...

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One good thing the Global Warming nut jobs have facilitated

The demise of the SUV. And pick up truck. Sorry to my friends who may own these monsters, but I own a small car and I'm tired of being nearly run down in parking lots as I back out of a space. Seems other drivers can't see me because I'm always between two of those damn things as I back out!

Out of the SCA

This time for good. And that's all I have to say about that...

Elmo Loves You!

I bought my little Mitsubishi Mirage about 11 years ago, new. It had 1.3 miles on it and was bright red (thus the moniker, "Elmo"). As of yesterday, just west of Grand Rapids, MN, it passed 170,000 miles (that's 21.5 times around the Earth). Wow. That was a great investment on my part.

And he's still going (but not so bright red).

Turn the other cheek? Screw you!

More wisdom from Demotivators

The Dreams of Youth...or at least 7 years ago

Once upon a time, when I lived in Illinois, I really wanted a PT Cruiser. A dark blue one. With silver flames painted on the sides. And this was the licence plate I wanted.

Now they stopped making PT Cruisers. And I live in Minnesota. That's what I get for waiting, huh?

Rabbi said the same thing!

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Hoist the Jolly Roger! And whoever else pisses me off!

You are The Cap'n!

Some men and women are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any scalawag who stands between them and unlimited power. You never met a man - or woman - you couldn't eviscerate. You are the definitive Man of Action, the CEO of the Seven Seas, Lee Iacocca in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. You're mission-oriented, and if anyone gets in the way, that's his problem, now isn't? Your buckle was swashed long ago and you have never been so sure of anything as your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off his head if he shows any sign of taking you on or backing down. If one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.




What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

Man in a skirt

I am desperate to make snarky comments about this, but it speaks for itself. Lose some weight!

There would have been a riot if it been a ChiSox home game!

Not very Minnesota nice, you betcha! Twin's fans explode due to all that pent up emotion.