Not really a celebrity, but...

I love being in the paper!

http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/entertainment/15410255.htm

More proof...

...that it is not the government's job to take care of you!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060814/ap_on_re_us/katrina_evacuees

AhOy gevalt!

And now...the man who puts the "Oy" in "Ahoy!" The Captain of the Cart! The Skipper! Captain Steubing! The Captain from Captain and Tenele! Graduate of the White Star Line School for Helmsmen! The ConTiki! Ladies and Gentlemen...Cap'n Chuck!

Would you buy a used golf cart from this man?

AhOy gevalt!

And now...the man who puts the "Oy" in "Ahoy!" The Captain of the Cart! The Skipper! Captain Steubing! The Captain from Captain and Tenele! Graduate of the White Star Line School for Helmsmen! The ConTiki! Ladies and Gentlemen...Cap'n Chuck!

Would you buy a used golf cart from this man?

Too damn busy!

It may be a while before I update the blog; summer camp has started here at the museum and I'll be pretty busy (as opposed to just pretty). But at least you can enjoy this:

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/13168398/?GT1=8211

The anti-Shirt cometh!

One of my co-workers, Sheldon, is a great guy and all, but today he committed a great heresy: he wore a monochromatic Aloha shirt! No colors, just shades of grey in a tropical pattern. Wrong, wrong, WRONG! I must now summon the Hawai'ian inquisition and stamp out this heresy!

Or, he can buy me lunch and all will be forgiven. We have easy penance in the First Church of the Sacred Ugly Shirt.

Kansas or Wisconsin?

Miri's latest word popped out yesterday during a snack break. Cole held up some string cheese and asked, "Do you want this?" Miri smiled and said "Cheese..." Now she'll expect the good stuff!

A few minutes with Groucho

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of your fellow man.

I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like apple- sauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh...Now you tell me what you know.

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

Whatever it is I'm against it.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

A new allergy

I like to joke that I'm allergic to the planet, but I've never had a food allergy. Till now, that is. It seems that I'm allergic to blue corn chips. Just the blue kind, not the white or yellow. Weird. I mean, I had them twice over two days and was covered with a bright red (but not itchy) rash both times. I'm SO glad Cool Ranch Doritos are not made of blue corn; I'd be rather put out.

Expectations

It is amazing how quickly and without warning how other's expectations can change. You can cruise along, thinking you are doing well, getting seemingly positive reinforcement from those in charge, when all of a sudden things are completely different and your life is in turmoil. You go from "great job" to "not good enough" in the space of just one day. Then you have to spend even more time at work, missing all the reasons you go to work in the first place.

I want to go home...

TR and the 21st century

Sometimes it is best to look to the past for insight into current events. President Teddy Roosevelt had this to say about immigration in 1907:

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the! American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Who lives in a pineapple...

Miri has been babbling for quite some time, as well as being able to
say short words, but the other day, she said her first multi-syllable
word: "Spongebob." I'm so proud!

Cheer up!

Feeling down? Stressed? Unhappy? World got you down? Well, be like Miriam and take a trip down the slide! Just look at that face! That's happy!

Before I die...

Someone just asked me if there was anyplace I wanted to go before I expire (whenever that might be). I came up with only four:

1. England. Not Ireland, not Wales, not Scotland, ENGLAND! See Windsor castle, St. Paul's, York cathedral, eat fish and chips and visit the Tower of London.
2. Rome. I got a master's in Roman history, so I really should see the Forum and the Coliseum.
3. Hawai'i. Tiki paradise!
4. Graceland. Check out my profile for the explanation for that one.

Will I make it to any of these? Probably not till retirement, though I may be able to hit Graceland on a trip to Florida ("Daddy! I wanna go to Disney World!")

Once a knight...

My interest in knighthood and chivalry gets deeper with each passing year, especially now that I am a member of an existing order plus the fact that I have a re-enacting persona that is a Knight of the Garter. Don't get me wrong: I realize that the real knights of Europe were not much like the ideal we have come to see in legend. It is those legendary knights, however, that we should be looking towards as our world gets less and less cordial.

I have become involved with a program called Chivalry for Children, a free class for kids that teach seven paramount virtues of knighthood: loyalty, charity, humility, perserverance, honesty, courage and courtesy. We tell stories, get the kids involved, show off knightly symbols and swords, then knight anyone (kid or adult) who wishes it. The whole thing is amazing: I have been involved for over a year now and I am always impressed with how the kids sit enthralled for an entire 45-minute presentation, then with their seriousness as they take their knightly vows.

This program is one of many things that has happened in my life recently that is helping me make peace with myself and my past. Striving to be a better person can be a struggle, but I can give this advice: share what you love with others. They may just love it, too.

Wile E. Coyote-Super Genius

I've always been a big fan of coyotes. Great survivors! Hunting them has always been a bad idea, since eleminating the large predators from an ecosystem causes smaller, even more annoying species to prosper. Anyway, canis latrans, Latin for "the talking dog" has an amazing ability to survive anywhere. And I mean anywhere! Check out this dude:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060322/od_nm/life_coyote_dc_5

Weepy Daddy

I just heard this song and it made me all weepy. Poor Miri, with the marshmallow dad.

The Things We've Handed Down by Marc Cohn

Don't know much about you
Don't know who you are
We've been doing fine without you
But, we could only go so far
Don't know why you chose us
Were you watching from above
Is there someone there that knows us
Said we'd give you all our love

Will you laugh just like your mother
Will you sigh like your old man
Will some things skip a generation
Like I've heard they often can
Are you a poet or a dancer
A devil or a clown
Or a strange new combination of
The things we've handed down

I wonder who you'll look like
Will your hair fall down and curl
Will you be a mama's boy
Or daddy's little girl
Will you be a sad reminder
Of what's been lost along the way
Maybe you can help me find her
In the things you do and say

And these things that we have given you
They are not so easily found
But you can thank us later
For the things we've handed down

You may not always be so grateful
For the way that you were made
Some feature of your father's
That you'd gladly sell or trade
And one day you may look at us
And say that you were cursed
But over time that line has been
Extremely well rehearsed
By our fathers, and their fathers
In some old and distant town
From places no one here remembers
Come the things we've handed down

Everybody needs...

...a ukulele! I'm learning to play and it is the happiest little intstrument on the planet. Just strumming it makes me grin and I haven't learned a single chord! Stressed? Get an aloha shirt, some tikis and a ukulele and you will be transported to happy land (which I guess is somewhere near Hawai'i).

Growing older but not up

I did a short TV spot yesterday for my job and, when I saw it later, I noticed that my 40 years are finally starting to show. I'm not so fixated on my weight anymore (for my daughter's sake) but my face is starting to show the passage of time. So am I getting old? Nah...just older! Life is a barrel of monkeys right now, with my new job and little girl. And my wonderful wife just gets more beautiful every day. Not bad for a forty year old...

Huh.

I have no idea what to say about this...

Still funny

I can't get enough of "Whose Line is it Anyway?"! I've seen every single one, over and over, but it is still outrageously funny. Never seen it? The American version is on almost every week night at 9pm CST on ABC Family. The British version can be seen occaisionally on Comedy Central. Collin rules!

New year, new job, new perspective

Here I sit at my new job at Exploration Place, a kid's science center in Wichita. I am the Programs Manager, inventing, developing and supervising program stuff...and having an absolute blast! The experiment as a librarian was an absolute failure. I enjoyed my time with kids, but those times were few and far between. Spending my day on the circulation desk and banging my creative head against the thick hides of the unbalanced and parochial females that ran the library only made me tired, crabby and very angry. So, when this job came along, I jumped at it! I've been in program for so much of my working life that this was just the place for me. Fun fun, fun!

Miri turned one in December. She nearly three feet tall and is the most fun loving little person I've ever met. The other night, while waiting in line at a pharmacy, she noticed a very unhappy man behind her and proceeded to dance and mug, trying to cheer him up. Little diva...

Renn faire rolls along well. We have gotten involved with the court at the Great Plains Fair and are having quite a fun time. We have some awesome garb and the Queen loves to hand out "bling" (shiny objects to pin on garb) to her loyal courtiers; I have so much now that I don't need to wear armor anymore. And, I will be inducted into the Order of the Garter this April, so just call "Sir"...

One sad note: I have lost my tiki room. Our good friend Liza fell on some hard times and we offered our home till she could get back on track and, unfortunately, she had to go into my tiki room. Oh, well, I had one for a while, and Cole promises that I will get another some day. At least my tiki's weren't packed away; they now live on some shelves in the bedroom.